I battle depression. A lot.
It is a hard truth to admit. I don’t take pills and I don’t condemn those who do. I think there are different levels and degrees of depression. Some degrees require whatever means necessary to fight the demon on your back.
Sometimes I am able to snap back quickly. Somedays I am not able to shake the heavy heart and the gloom over my brain.
Those days are when I need a little extra encouragement or love. Those really tough days I feel like I am at a crossroad and I have to pick fight or die.
Yes. I said it. Fight or die. Anyone who knows how hard the struggle is would agree.
I can’t tell you what happens that bring me to this road. Some days I wake up that way. Some days I go to bed that way. Some days I see the road approaching and I am able to quickly change my route. Other days I see it approaching and nothing I do stops it.
Some times I am at this crossroad for an entire month. Sometimes I don’t see it for months.
That is what I call this spirit. Random demon…two words to you…you suck.
I am tired of you latching yourself to others and to me. I am tired of your lies. I am pist off at the lives you have taken. I am here to say you are messing with the wrong girl. I am standing to say I will fight you and I will win.
Why am I so confident?
I am confident because I know the truth.
I am confident that every time you take me to this crossroad somewhere deep in my heart, soul and mind I will remember:
I know that God is for me. I know that he created me for a purpose. I know that He loves me. I know this is true not just for me but also for any who struggle.
I know that it is hard. I know when you are in this battle or at the crossroad at times we are tired, weary, and just wanting to give up. I know fighting is hard. However- next time you are standing there deciding to fight or die remember the truth! Say it out loud! Scream it! Tell random demon to piss off!
You are loved. Your life matters. period.
Thank you Renee Swope for the words of encouragement! Her post Words for the Weary here .