Tonight I remembered a dream of mine. Tonight memories flooded my heart.
My first job was a retail job. All my friends were pretty jealous. I made good money. Received a great discount. Had great hours. I got to put together great displays for the holidays, or set sales… It was awesome. I had found my calling.
That job started the long list of other retail jobs that I pursued. I went to school for fashion merchandising. I wanted to live in New York and create displays for major retail stores. I wanted to work, write, travel and dream big.
Then there was this boy.
This boy, may he rest in peace, stomped on my dream. Okay okay- he is not dead but he broke my heart after I had chased his dream. After I had listened to his “my life goal of fashion was stupid” comments….I gave up and followed his dream. So when he broke my heart I decided he was dead to me.
So I once again got back in retail and realized I loved when the stores closed for the evening, we would take our shoes off, crank up the radio and re-set the store. Sometimes it was just cleaning it and resizing the racks. Sometimes it was total resets for the holidays or a new store opening. I loved these times.
I loved the all nighters. Since I am an insomniac- all nighters work well for me. I loved folding and refolding. I enjoyed putting together the window displays. I enjoyed the time in the store when it was still and quiet from the hustle of the shoppers. It was probably the only time during that season of my life I wasn’t on something or drunk. Something about doing sets or new layouts made my heart so happy. I didn’t need to find a boy, take a drink, or party the night away because something else was so much more desiring…. Work.
So tonight after a crappy day. After everyone left, I didn’t want to go home and so I did what my heart did all those years ago. I planned a new grid for after the holidays. I put shirts in size order. I took out the old clip board and folded shirts. I figured out what more this holiday grid needed!
With the music turned up high.
Kicked my shoes off.
Sang a little too loud.
A memory that was worth revisiting and thinking maybe it is never too late to chase this dream.