Do you remember your freshmen year? Everything was exciting and new…but also a little scary and overwhelming. You knew you were in the home stretch; only four more years. You knew you would be driving soon and couldn’t help but thinking about homecoming , prom, and Friday night football games. You were not quite free but still more free than you ever had been before.
You could smell opportunity and it made you grow wings faster so you could be brave and fly.
I am re-living that feeling. I am 32 and something deep inside me feels like a freshman all over again. I am excited and very overwhelmed. I want to share these thoughts and feelings….yet I haven’t posted here much lately because I really didn’t know what to say. How to say it. What is okay to say? What was safe to say? How do I filter when I don’t want to filter? Would my blog always from now on be watched, or checked on because it was going to be thrown in my face at any moment’s notice? This fear keeps all the deep things I want to write about bottled up and the pressure is staring to build up.
“WRITE HARD AND CLEAR ABOUT WHAT HURTS.” ERNEST HEMINGWAY
This quotes makes me realize this is my blog. This is my raw unedited place to share my thoughts, feelings and my life; this is my safe place. I want this place to be my safe place but also a safe place for others. A place where you feel safe to feel, cry, share, laugh or whatever. I want to create a place that others want to be part of freeing themselves from others. A place where others feel free to kick off their shoes, curl up with their lap top and write; unedited and unfiltered. I want them to read my writings and something deep down in their soul says me too. Or wow… or whoa… or it is my time to share.
“LOVE YOUR WHOLE STORY EVEN IF IT HASN’T BEEN THE PERFECT FAIRY.” MELANIE MOUSHIGIAN
So I am excited for 2015. It will be my Hello Year…. I don’t know yet but Hello is the word for the year. I have many guesses why it is the word but only time will tell.
I will tell you though, I know that no matter what I am going to write. I am going to share. I am not going to filter my thoughts or feelings out of fear. My safe place is my safe place. If you don’t like it then don’t read it. You have something to say or share feel free to write your own blog and share your story. Say hello to your mistakes (like I am saying Hello to mine) and fess up. Cough up your insecurities and be willing to be a freshmen again. Go on with life excited and a little scared.