Freshmen Feelings

Do you remember your freshmen year?  Everything was exciting and new…but also a little scary and overwhelming.  You knew you were in the home stretch; only four more years.  You knew  you would be driving soon and couldn’t help but thinking about homecoming , prom, and Friday night football games.  You were not quite free but still more free than you ever had been before.

You could smell opportunity  and it made you  grow wings faster so you could be brave and fly.

I am re-living  that feeling.  I am 32 and something deep inside me feels like a freshman all over again. I am excited and very overwhelmed.  I want to share these thoughts and feelings….yet  I haven’t posted here much lately because I really didn’t know what to say.  How to say it.    What is okay to say?  What was safe to say?  How do I filter when I don’t want to filter?    Would my blog always from now on be watched, or checked on because it was going to be thrown in my face at any moment’s  notice? This fear keeps all the deep things I want to write about bottled up and the pressure is staring to build up.

“WRITE HARD AND CLEAR ABOUT WHAT HURTS.” ERNEST HEMINGWAY

This quotes makes me realize this is my blog.  This is my raw unedited place to share my thoughts, feelings and my life; this is my safe place.  I want this place to be my safe place but also a safe place for others.  A place where you feel safe to feel, cry, share, laugh or whatever.  I want to create  a place that others want to be part of freeing themselves from others.  A place where others feel free to kick off their shoes, curl up with their lap top and write; unedited and unfiltered. I want them to read my writings and something deep down in their soul says me too. Or wow… or whoa… or  it is my time to share.

“LOVE YOUR WHOLE STORY EVEN IF IT HASN’T BEEN THE PERFECT FAIRY.”  MELANIE MOUSHIGIAN

So I am excited for 2015.  It will be my Hello Year…. I don’t know yet but Hello is the word for the year.  I have many guesses why it is the word but only time will tell.

I will tell you though,  I know that no matter what I am going to write.  I am going to share.  I am not going to filter my thoughts or feelings out of fear.  My safe place is my safe place.  If you don’t like it then don’t read it.  You have something to say or share feel free to write your own blog and share your story.  Say hello to your mistakes (like I am saying Hello to mine) and fess up.  Cough up your insecurities and be willing to be a freshmen again.  Go on with life excited and a little scared.

Hello 2015!

A Quote For 2015

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F. Scott Fitzgerald you have my attention. My heart was captured. Your words made me wonder. Your words made my heart take a leap.

Now I fly. Holding tightly to your wisdom.

I hope you make the best of it.

2015 is approaching fast. Faster than I would
like.

I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

This next year holds a lot of uncertainties for me. It makes me a little scared.

You can change or stay the same.

These uncertainties are going to change me. Change will be good.

I hope you feel things that you have never felt before.

This will be a year for me to let go. Allow the walls to fall and do things I never thought I could or would.

For what is worth, it is never too late or too early.

I always thought it was.

Be whoever you want to be.

I want to be who I was created to be.

Unapologetically me.