When You Can’t Sleep

  
I can’t sleep. 

It has been weeks. 

I will close my eyes because I am so tired. Tired seems like an understatement. I start to drift. Then WHAM! 

Awake. 

Weak.

Shame.

Failure.

Hurt. 

Pain. 

Anger. 

The thoughts. Oh they start running.  Running over my heart and head. The words are quiet;silent whispers of memories or dreams that feel so out of reach.  Quiet screams that attack in the dark.

I try to quiet the soul. 

I cry out! 

I need you. 

Afraid.

Alone.

Overwhelmed.

In the darkness I feel His strength. 

Waves of grace.  

Forgiveness.

Love. 

Tears. 

Quickly reminded. 

Not hopeless.

Warrior. 

Beloved. 

Not forsaken. 

Awakened to hear. 

Valued. 

Enough. 

A familiar connection  when you can’t sleep. 

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