I wish I Could Have Told Myself

If my 32 year old self could get in a time machine and go back in time….I would tell myself:

Age 6:
It is okay.
You are loved.
You are seen.
You are not a mistake.
You are wanted.
You are enough.
Listen to your gut feeling.
Love yourself even when others don’t.

Age 11:
Way to go.
Good job.
You do make God proud.
You are beautiful.
He sees you.
You are no alone.
Don’t give up.
Don’t believe that lie.
Be brave.
You are chosen.
Words do hurt.

Age 16:
You can do it.
Prove them wrong.
Don’t go there.
Don’t wear that.
You are smart.
Don’t stop smiling.
Protect your heart.
Failure is okay.
Go after that big dream.
You are more than enough.

Age 19:
Let him go.
Love yourself more.
Chose life.
Take care of yourself.
Get back up.
Keep writing.
Stand out don’t try to fit in.
Take a leap of faith.
Everything will work out.
Get some sleep.
Take care of yourself.

Age 22:
Let them go.
Time to chase that dream.
Listen to your heart.
Slow down.
Keep fighting.
He sees you.
You are loved.
You are not a nobody.
He still loves you.
You are brave.
You are always enough.

Age 24:
Let go.
Be yourself.
Don’t hate.
Don’t change.
It’s okay to fail.
Check your attitude.
Don’t become like them.
It is time to fly.

Age 28:
Think twice.
Allow room for grace.
Seek Him more.
Screw them.
You are safe.
You are precious.
It is okay.
You will be okay.

Age 32:

Ah well that would be me today. I wish my 32 year old self would be okay with her body after two kids. I wish that she always felt strong and smart. I wish she knew she was worthy and loved. I wish she believed that she is beautiful and not average. I wish I believed more in myself and always felt enough.

Maybe if I had heard these things when I was younger. Perhaps if way back then if I heard these things I wouldn’t be needing to hear them now.

Perhaps without hearing them then I can truly hear them now.

I can’t go back in time but I can go forward. I can tell my children the words they need to hear. I can tell others, too. I can encourage them and hope to guide them to hear His words instead of the silence they may be hearing.

Perhaps I wasn’t suppose to hear these things way back when but hearing them now is His perfect timing.

I can look back on my life and see the ashes to beauty journey as the greatest adventure. The adventure that made me the person I am today. The good, the bad, and the ugly was all for a reason.

The experience helped me value the words more.



5 Ways To Relax and Refill; My Favorite Ways


I frequently run on emtpy. The problem is I run on empty so much that I don’t even recognize when I am on empty.

My car has a light that lets me know it is about to be on empty or it stops running when I have ignored that light; why can’t I have a light or warning beep or something?

😄 -Moving on-

So here are my top 5 favorite things to do when I need to relax, refill or re-find (or redefined) my heart. 5 easy and cheap things to do because we all know a trip to Italy or a girl’s weekend isn’t always in the budget.

1. A Mental Health Day
I just take a day off. No laundry, chores or cleaning. The kids also enjoy taking a day off. We play all day. We get take out for dinner (normally pizza) and we eat on paper plates. A mental health day is a great way to refill. It is okay to even take a mental health day without kiddos if you can do that, but if not it is okay to take a day off with them.

2. Go Somewhere
I don’t care where you live there is always some place to go and see; either a new place or some place beautiful that your heart loves no matter how many times you have seen it. A river, a flower garden, a zoo, old buildings, a museum etc etc. Sometimes just a few hours away from the real world helps you get a new perspective.

3. A Cup With A Green Straw
Okay, okay so maybe Starbucks is not your thing. However; whatever is your thing (chocolate, coffee, Sonic, cookies, yogurt etc etc) go get it and go enjoy it.

4. Something New
Something new can be anything. A new outfit, new book, new blog, new movie, new dinner place, new recipe…. Something new doesn’t even mean “new”. It just can be cheap, free, or borrowed. Something new to you. I like to read so a new blog or book is a perfect way to relax. I like to cook a new meal for my family. I like to drive a new route home every chance I get. So see something new doesn’t have to even cost you anything.

5. Fresh Air
I know nature is not for everyone. So hear me out on this before you discount this one. In the bible it talks about the wilderness. Going out. Being alone. Outdoors. Nature. So I have found fresh air does my heart good. I can see clearly and hear better when I am surround by His creation. So nature may not be your thing. BUT I am telling you that you don’t have to camp or go all glamping (camping all glamourous) on me; you can enjoy the fresh air on a patio. Or at the pool or lake. Just get some fresh air.

So there it is. My top 5 things to do when my heart is empty and I need to relax and refill. I hope something on this list helps you or encourages you to try it!


I am linking up with Proverbs 31 online bible study. check it out.

Being A Mom is Tough


Some days are tough.

Some days feel like a breeze.

I wish I had more of the latter.

I have two kids. Ages 9 and 4. A son who is smart, has a huge servant’s heart , funny and loud; in a good way (most of the time). He definitely has a calling to be a friend to many and to bring joy to others. His life changed my life, and saved me. He pushed us to wake up and live unselfishly.

My daughter is a free spirit; wild and a leader. Untamable. She doesn’t take no for answer, and loves big. She has pushed us to learn grace and what grace really is.

Isn’t that really what parenting is all about? Not just us teaching and making little ones grow but God teaching us and making us grow?

Maybe this is why being a parent is tough?

I am constantly in a battle for my heart plus the hearts of two others who were put in my care.

Plus add all that to the daily grind of everyday life like dishes, laundry, work, emails, etc and things are bound to be filled with challenging days. Can I get an amen?!?

But here is the thing- we are going to make it. His word is filled with promises. Tons of things to stand on when it seems like the parenting world around is failing a part.

I constantly (cough hourly) have to remind myself He picked me to be their mommy and He does not make mistakes.

So I hope tonight you and I learn to embrace the tough days. Grow and change not just our little ones but all ourselves, too.


5 Confessions From a Real Mom


These confessions might shock you. So if you are a mom that has it together all the time and never do anything shocking then don’t read this post. Or maybe you should read it so you will either relax a little or I will help you feel even better about yourself.

1. Popcorn is served for breakfast!

Yep. I have and will continue to serve popcorn (occasionally) for breakfast. My husband was appalled when he saw me do this one day but I put his mind to ease when I said “what is the problem? Honestly this is just like corn pops; just the dollar store version.”

2. My child has gone 5 days without a bath.

Swimming in a pool counts as a bath right?!? Right?! Can I get an amen?

3. I have lied to my child about having super hero powers.

I have lied. There I said it! I have told my son I know about things he does when I am not around because I can see into the future. I have told my daughter that I have super strength because I do the laundry. She now helps with the laundry every time I do it. She is getting so strong! I can tell!

4. I gave my child a three course meal the very first time I was told by their doctor they could eat food.

Yeah. My pediatrician gave me the thumbs up on starting my child on food; so I went to the store and bought every kind of food gerber had. I feed that child at least a little of every kind of baby jar food at every meal. Good thing they didn’t have food allergies. I didn’t know any better until the next check up. 3 months later.

5. My children can speak in movie quotes.

They can carry a full conversation in just movie quotes. Some movies they have probably never even seen but have heard dad and I quote it and so they copy it. Either way movies have helped shaped my children’s vocabulary and I am okay with that.

Okay so these may not be that shocking. Some may just be more humorous than anything else. However, I needed to share. I needed to get it out there that I am not perfect. I don’t have my stuff altogether all the time. Lately things have been tough in the mom department and all I can do is take deep breaths and remind myself of His strength that comes in during my weakness. I remind myself of His love and grace that completely swoops in when I mess up. I remind myself God picked me to be their mom and I have to trust that I may not always get in perfect but I will always be shown grace, forgiveness, mercy but most of all love.

I felt confessing my MMM(messy mommy moments) take away the power from satan beating me up with them. I wanted others to have the power to stand up and say I am doing the best I can and I am okay. We can all do better and we all have things to work on but why sit back and keep these things to ourselves when we should lean into each other and loudly confess our silly moments , laugh about the time we dropped dirty diaper on the floor dirty side down….. Yucky I know …
And move on from them.

So ladies stop hiding your mistakes. Confess and move on. Laugh a little and don’t worry if donuts were served yet again for breakfast! You are awesome and today while folding laundry I just know super powers are being placed deep in your heart!