Single 101: Part Two

Part 2

More thoughts and wisdom on being single. 

Sugar Daddy or Momma?

That is funny but let’s be honest.

You should not be with someone because of money.  Money runs out or can go away.  My advice: You should be supporting yourself.  Are you standing on your own two feet?  If they have money or you have money great, but if you are looking for a person with money then you are looking for love to feel a need.  You have clearly missed #1 and #2 (see Part One).  

Money is not the answer to life’s problems.

I wonder if whoever said that had ever been without, but reality is, this statement is true. I would rather know that if anything happens I will still be okay, then one day be out and wonder now what the hell am I going to do.   Oh! Wait I have been there.  I didn’t marry for money. I loved him despite of no money but I did get in a situation that I could not support myself; stupid me.   If you can’t 100% say you are independent then I would say it is time to get there and another reason to be single. 

Where is God in your life?

I need God.  I daily need him.  That means you need him too.  Do you pray? Do you attend church?  Do you worship God and listen to his prompts?  I want to not hear that you do this.  I want to see your life reflect Christ.  I know that no relationship or marriage will sustain without God.  How can I be prepared for a relationship or be ready for a relationship if I don’t daily go to my creator and get poured into.  

How can you be?  

I can’t love another fully if I can’t see through the right lenses.  Grace. Love. Mercy. Self-Control. Patience.  A sound mind.  My heart can’t validate anyone else’s heart, and my heart can only get validation from God.  I don’t want someone draining me every day because they are seeking from the world and seeking God through me.   God must be present in your life.

Are we friends?

Why rush into a dating relationship?  Can you be friends first?  I think this is important.  It is also proven that lasting relationships happen when there was a friendship first and love grew from that.   It seems like it is all or nothing with some men/woman.  

Why is that?

I want someone I know well.  Can I name your mom or sister?  Do we have some crazy story we share?  I know some people think a friendship is just like dating.  Friendships no matter what the outcome you are trying to achieve can look like dating.   However; you will know the difference.  I don’t kiss my friends.  I don’t hold their hands.  There is a level on which some things are going to be saved for a relationship status.  

I once met a great guy.  We were friends, at least, in my mind. I told him from the beginning: I just need to start slow and be friends.  I am not ready to date.  It was fine with him; until he started dating another.   Then my so-called friend no longer called or text.   I know some people think you can’t be friends with another of the opposite sex.  I completely disagree.   

I can assume the worse in this guy or the new girl in his life, but I prefer to think it was just God.  Slow down when you meet someone.  Don’t look to define the relationship right away.  Just be friends.  Have coffee, get to know each other, and let time tell you if this friendship should be more. Let friendship turn into dates! 

So are you self supported? Are you looking for a Godly man?  Are you trying to jump into a relationship or are you trying to be friends first.  

These are important goals to have set in your life before moving into a relationship.  

Stay tune for part 3! ❤ KGB 


We Should Believe in Others, Even if Risky


I am in a weird situation right now.

I see the potential in an amazing individual. I see how they interact with people and the amazing affect they have. I see the talent they bring to the table in many different ways. I see the really awesome gifts God has given this person.

I can also tell you how this person doesn’t see their potential. Or maybe they do but not their full potential. I see the wounds….the lies….the insecurities that holds this person back. This person’s heart isn’t free….I know though that it can be.

The plot gets thicker.

I can tell you how another person had been given the potential to speak life into this individual. To encourage. To mentor. They were not asked to save the other person or to fix the other person: they were just put in the path to just love them. Instead power, control and money stepped in the way. They don’t see how they have hurt themselves and the other person. They are not a bad person. They just loss focus. The business of money became more important than the business of love.

So -here I stand between the two and wonder what happened to believing in people even if it was risky? Whatever happened to seeing the good in people and just loving them to love them. To get nothing in return. To just love them so they can be who they were created to be. So they could reach their full potential. Whatever happened to reaping benefits of just loving another and seeing them shine?

And I am no Pollyanna. I know that loving another is risky. I know loving another and giving them your all may only burn you. I know. . . I know . . . Oh boy do I know. However, I want to do it anyways. I want to love this person and love big.

I believe that others will never see that they are worthy, that they are loved, that they are wanted, or that they are needed until they see it from another first. We may never become who we were created to be until someone else helps us see it.

So what about you? Did someone take a risk on you? Did someone believe in you when you didn’t believe in yourself? Did that help you shine? Aren’t you glad they took the risk?

I am sure we all have someone that we can picture that loved us unconditionally even when it was risky for them. So isn’t it our turn to believe in another even if risky?

For me…that answer is yes.