Single 101: Part Two

Part 2

More thoughts and wisdom on being single. 

Sugar Daddy or Momma?

That is funny but let’s be honest.

You should not be with someone because of money.  Money runs out or can go away.  My advice: You should be supporting yourself.  Are you standing on your own two feet?  If they have money or you have money great, but if you are looking for a person with money then you are looking for love to feel a need.  You have clearly missed #1 and #2 (see Part One).  

Money is not the answer to life’s problems.

I wonder if whoever said that had ever been without, but reality is, this statement is true. I would rather know that if anything happens I will still be okay, then one day be out and wonder now what the hell am I going to do.   Oh! Wait I have been there.  I didn’t marry for money. I loved him despite of no money but I did get in a situation that I could not support myself; stupid me.   If you can’t 100% say you are independent then I would say it is time to get there and another reason to be single. 

Where is God in your life?

I need God.  I daily need him.  That means you need him too.  Do you pray? Do you attend church?  Do you worship God and listen to his prompts?  I want to not hear that you do this.  I want to see your life reflect Christ.  I know that no relationship or marriage will sustain without God.  How can I be prepared for a relationship or be ready for a relationship if I don’t daily go to my creator and get poured into.  

How can you be?  

I can’t love another fully if I can’t see through the right lenses.  Grace. Love. Mercy. Self-Control. Patience.  A sound mind.  My heart can’t validate anyone else’s heart, and my heart can only get validation from God.  I don’t want someone draining me every day because they are seeking from the world and seeking God through me.   God must be present in your life.

Are we friends?

Why rush into a dating relationship?  Can you be friends first?  I think this is important.  It is also proven that lasting relationships happen when there was a friendship first and love grew from that.   It seems like it is all or nothing with some men/woman.  

Why is that?

I want someone I know well.  Can I name your mom or sister?  Do we have some crazy story we share?  I know some people think a friendship is just like dating.  Friendships no matter what the outcome you are trying to achieve can look like dating.   However; you will know the difference.  I don’t kiss my friends.  I don’t hold their hands.  There is a level on which some things are going to be saved for a relationship status.  

I once met a great guy.  We were friends, at least, in my mind. I told him from the beginning: I just need to start slow and be friends.  I am not ready to date.  It was fine with him; until he started dating another.   Then my so-called friend no longer called or text.   I know some people think you can’t be friends with another of the opposite sex.  I completely disagree.   

I can assume the worse in this guy or the new girl in his life, but I prefer to think it was just God.  Slow down when you meet someone.  Don’t look to define the relationship right away.  Just be friends.  Have coffee, get to know each other, and let time tell you if this friendship should be more. Let friendship turn into dates! 

So are you self supported? Are you looking for a Godly man?  Are you trying to jump into a relationship or are you trying to be friends first.  

These are important goals to have set in your life before moving into a relationship.  

Stay tune for part 3! ❤ KGB 


One Pound At A Time


This is me.

This is not a before picture.

This would have meant I was bold and brave.

This is me.

This after a month of working out….hard.

This is after skipping sweets. Bread. Dairy.

This is still not good enough.

See I live in the DFW area and I know I am not suppose to compare myself to others. But it is so freaking hard.

The women out here always look perfect. They don’t leave their home unless makeup and hair are perfect. They are always dressed like they just might meet the president. Or even if they “just threw something on” they look like they just stepped out of a JCrew magazine.

(sigh) Not me.

My hair is frizzy. Not straight. Not curly. Just there. Pony tails and I are best friends. Makeup….well I try but I would rather go with out. I love T-shirts, jeans, work out clothes and well flip flops. These women around here even when they wear casual (like gym clothes) they are still put together with hair done and makeup.

So most days I feel like I am in high school again. Comparing my boobs to their boobs. FYI I have none. That was the 1st thing to go when I decide to lose weight. So now I once again revisit the boob job question in my head.

I compare my weight to their weight. I see their thigh gap and wonder do they sacrifice to get that or are they naturally skinny? Either way I conclude with lucky.

I compare my clothes to their clothes. I love fashion but not one to spend a lot on super trendy. I will spend money on a good pair of jeans or sweat pants, though.

Everyday I step into a target I wish I could blast the lady in front of me or behind me with a “lady you just went grocery shopping! Leave the pearls at home.” But then I look around and realize I am the only one that seemed to miss the “dress up at Target day” memo.

(Sigh) I have to remind myself…This is me.

Every pound. Every scar. The lack of boobs. Every stretch mark. Every vein. Every single thing on my body is me. Even the clothes I wear. I could change my wardrobe. I can change my weight. I could get boobs, but deep down I have to love myself. I have to not compare my body or life to anyone.

I have to accept myself so I free myself from others accepting me. I have to not care if I love a good pair of yoga pants OVER the latest Free People dress. (BY THE WAY I DO LOVE THEM.)

I have to realize God made me.

He made me.

I am not air brushed. I don’t have fake nails. A fake tan. Or fake boobs (yet). I may not look like anyone else because this is me.

So today I go to the gym for me. I will swim not for a thigh gap but to take my pain and stress out on the water. I won’t see another woman and compare. I will not compare myself. I am not losing weight to compare to anyone, I am doing it for me. I will wear makeup or not wear makeup not to compare but I will wear it or not wear it for me. I will wear what I want to wear and not compare….all for me.

One pound at a time I will love myself and accept myself. One pound at a time I will learn that I am beautiful and don’t have to compare.